I know that getting our children to do chores can be extremely challenging. I am all too familiar with the meltdowns, yelling and chaos that comes along with reminding our kids that they need to do their chores.
It can be very frustrating as a parent reminding them as much as we have too because they forgot, got distracted, they were overwhelmed or had a hard time following your directions.
Chores are so important as our children grow. They learn a lot from chores. It teaches them life skills, self discipline, independence, they will learn that they need to contribute and work hard too. A family works together, pitches in and each person has to do their part.
Chores and responsibilities will help a child feel like an important part of a family. Children want to feel needed. Chores will help them build self esteem. Try to choose chores that they will be able to complete successfully. Your child may need a lot of reminders, going over each step several times and require more supervision than other children. There are so many heavy work activities that are chores too.
When they are successful, praise them as much as possible. (it will make them want to do it again) If chores are smaller tasks that don't take as much time they won't lose interest as quickly and will stay on task and feel more accomplished. The next time they're asked to do something they wont be as reluctant to do it for you.
Setting timers or agree on a time together that the chore should be completed by can also motivate them to want to do it. Make it a game, make it fun for them.
For myself, I have ADHD/SPD. I can get messy and unorganized at times but when we focus on short tasks we tend to give great detail to what we are doing. When you ask a child with ADHD/SPD to clean there room, without instructions, steps, time limits or expectations and it is really messy they get upset, have a meltdown, don't want to do it, scream, throw things around and get overwhelmed because for them that massive, huge mountain seems impossible to climb. What I have always done was one step at a time and eventually it will be done. Not just for my kids but myself too. If it doesn't all get done today, that's okay because eventually it will with smaller goals and expectations.
Preschool and kinder age children also enjoy chores and being helpful. At these ages they don't need to be as supervised and once you take some time to show them how to do different chores they will become more independent. Some parents at this age introduce allowance to their children. It is an incentive for them to want to earn money to purchase items they would like to have. A valuable life skill.
When children begin going to school they usually aren't as motivated to do chores as they used to be. The excitement of helping will diminish as the years move forward. Keeping track of responsibilities and using a chart will guild them to be more self-sufficient.
Preteens appreciate knowing what chores are expected and a set routine. Giving them unexpectant chores can usually make them less motivated and unwilling. Sit down and make an agreement on chores and expectations for a smooth transition. Then they will also understand the negative consequences should they not be completed and positive reinforcement when they are completed.
Teens. This is when it can become more difficult but at this age they should be more capable of doing almost any chore in your home. Teenagers tend to get overwhelmed as they have their own schedules and activities and find it unmanageable at times to juggle everything. Build expected chores around their schedules so it is a positive experience for everyone. Always do what works for you, your child's schedule and your family.
Some children need to learn how to do chores step by step and others will catch on quickly from watching you do it. Social stories can also help children learn step by step and be a visual reminder when they begin their chore if it's hung up for them to see.
Many parents use apps for chore points, charts, collecting pom poms or coins in jars, allowance, chore cards or other ideas that work for their family. These are just some ideas to try. Do what works best for you and your family.