Encouraging Friendships with Sensory Processing Disorder

Encouraging Friendships with Sensory Processing Disorder

Jeanette Loftus

Sensory processing disorder can make it difficult to build new friendships. A child can experience a lot of anxiety and this can make social settings feel very uncomfortable and can make a child reluctant to create new friendships.

Making and having friends is what all children want but for some children who struggle with sensory processing disorder, it can be very challenging for them to make and keep friends.

Many children who struggle with sensory processing differences may fidget, stim, cover their ears or avoid eye contact. This can sometimes be misunderstood by new friends. Encouraging positive friendships requires understanding. There are many different ways we can work towards our children having friendships. 

Some children may have difficulties making or keeping friends because they lack control, experience sensory meltdowns, get overwhelmed by sensory input, they are overactive or hyper, not focused or paying attention, have difficulties sharing or not taking turns due to executive functioning, unable to understand facial expression, social cues or body language. 

Social environments like parties or crowded public places can feel overwhelming because of the sounds and sights. This can lead to your child feeling discomfort and them wanting to leave, making it difficult to connect with friends.

Your child may have had past experiences of overwhelm or judgment and because of that children who struggle with sensory differences may develop anxiety about social situations. These anxious fear can stop them from initiating conversations with unfamiliar children or participating in group activities. 

Your child needs to be able to communicate their needs and be open with friends about their sensory processing disorder. They need to be able to explain how different sensory inputs affect them and what strategies work best for them. 

When meeting new friends choose a setting that is more sensory friendly for your child. A quiet space or activities that minimize sensory overload. You don't want the experience of making new friends to be stressful or something that makes your child anxious or discouraged. You want to make making friends fun and encouraging. 

Before going to meet a friend, help your child practice socializing by role playing and practicing different things they could ask and say in a conversation. Social stories could be very helpful too and help your child understand what a friend is and what friendships are. 

Fill your child's sensory diet the day of meeting a new friend throughout the day so they are regulated. You don't want them showing up for a play date dysregulated and having sensory meltdowns. 

If your child is a sensory seeker, you may want to plan an active play date to keep them moving and include heavy work activities too. This way, you will be filling their sensory diet at the same time. 

If you used visual schedules, plan your child's playdate in advance and add this event to your child's visual picture schedule so they know when to expect this play date or meet up is happening to reduce their fears and anxiety. Plan it for a time that best works for your child. Our children have different times during their day when they do their best. 

Bring the sensory tools that you know will help your child stay calm and regulated during their play date. If they need their sensory chewelry or their fidgets, bring them along too. 

Meeting new friends does not need to be a big event. It could be best to start small with a one-on-one play date or meet up and then they could gradually increase social participation.

Ask your child what they want and how they feel about a play date and what would work best for them. Give them some control and allow them to make choices that work for them. 

Your child will want to find friends who have shared interests with them. Connect with other children who share the same interests, this will make it a lot easier for them to build friendships and engage in conversations. 

There are many different things we can do in school and that teachers can do in their classrooms to help build friendships too. It is so important to always promote acceptance and inclusion in a classroom.

Create a school environment that is welcoming and understanding for all children with differences. Educate classmates and promote awareness and understanding for sensory processing disorder because helping peers to better understand them will be very helpful in promoting friendships. 

Search for different support groups in your community. It is so important to connect with families who also have children with sensory differences. This will help your child have friendships with other children who understand and may have the same needs as your child.

Joining local children's social groups with other children who have sensory differences may help your child create new friendships too. 

Building friendships takes time, teach your child to be patient and kind to themselves. It’s so important to be gentle with themselves while seeking new friendships and to notice the progress they make, no matter how small.

Therapists who specialize in sensory processing disorder in your community can provide valuable tools and strategies for coping with sensory sensitivities when navigating social situations and making new friends. They can also help your child understand their needs and advocate for themselves in friendship circles. They also may know local social groups in your area. 

Teach your child to be themselves and embrace being unique. Making friends when you have sensory processing disorder can be challenging sometimes but it is not impossible. 

When play dates are over, take the time to praise your child on how incredible they did while playing with their new friend and how proud you are of them for being such a great friend. Talk to them about the things they did so well when being a good friend but also provide feedback to them too for next time because they are only learning. 

We all deserve friends. We all should feel special and important to friends. We should all be able to experience positive friendships no matter what differences we have.