Kids, Anger & Tools To Help 

Kids, Anger & Tools To Help 

Jeanette Loftus 

Anger is an emotion that can be difficult for anyone to deal with especially children. Children are still learning to understand and regulate their emotions and anger can be even more challenging. Some parents may find themselves asking why their child struggles with anger and how they can help them. 

Children may struggle with anger for many different reasons. One common cause is a lack of emotional and social skills. While adults have had years of practice in managing their emotions, young children are still learning how to express themselves. This can lead to tantrums, outbursts, meltdowns and aggressive behavior when they are unable to communicate their feelings.

Children may struggle with anger because of their environment. Children who grow up in stressful and chaotic environments may be more prone to anger as they have not learned healthy ways to cope with their emotions. Children who witness aggressive and angry behavior from adults may mirror this behavior in their own actions.

There are many really great children's books available that can help children learn how to manage their anger. These books use relatable characters and stories to teach children about their emotions and how to handle them in a healthy way. Books not only provide simple and easy-to-understand explanations of anger, but also offer practical strategies and techniques for children to use when they feel angry. Reading these books with your child and discussing the characters' experiences can also be a great way to open up a dialogue about anger.

Some children may struggle with anger due to sensory processing disorder (SPD). Children with sensory challenges may have difficulty regulating their emotional responses, leading to outbursts and meltdowns when they are overstimulated.

If you suspect your child may have sensory processing disorder, it is best to consult with a doctor or a pediatric occupational therapist for a proper evaluation. With the help of a an occupational therapist, children with sensory issues can learn coping strategies and techniques to manage their emotions and regulate their responses.


Recognizing the signs that a child may have anger issues is important in helping them cope and manage their emotions. Some common signs of anger issues in children include:

Frequent and intense outbursts: If a child frequently has intense and uncontrollable outbursts, it may be a sign that they have difficulty managing their anger.

Physical aggression: Children with anger issues may resort to physical aggression, such as hitting, kicking, or throwing objects when they are angry.

Difficulty calming down: It is normal for children to get upset, but if they have trouble calming down even after the situation has passed, it may indicate an underlying issue with anger.

Withdrawal or avoidance: While some children may act out when they are angry, others may withdraw or avoid the situation altogether. This can be a sign of underlying anger issues.

How to help an angry child:

Teach emotional awareness: Help your child understand their emotions by labeling them and discussing how they feel. Let them know that it is normal to feel angry, but it is important to express it in a healthy way.

Provide a safe and calm environment: Children who struggle with anger may benefit from having a designated calm and quiet space where they can go when they feel overwhelmed or upset.

Teach coping strategies: Help your child find healthy ways to cope with their anger, such as taking deep breaths, counting to 10, or using positive self-talk.

Model healthy behavior: Children often learn by observing their parents and caregivers. It is important for adults to model healthy ways of dealing with anger, as children will likely mimic these behaviors.

Anger is a complex emotion that can be challenging for children to navigate. With the right tools and support, children can learn to understand and manage their anger in a healthy way. 

How do I know if my child is having anger challenges? 

1. Silent and holds in feelings. 
2. Acting without thinking.
3. Has difficulty dealing with frustrations.
4. Regularly requires reminders to control temper.
5. Refuses to accept responsibility.
6. Blames others for actions.
7. Appears to not care about other's feelings.
8. Often uses physical aggression for example kicking, hitting or shouting
9. Difficulty calming down.
10. Have trouble calming down when they are upset.
11. Bullying others.12. Behavior changes from calm to upset quickly.

What are some tips to help children handle anger in better ways?