A child's emotional cup isn't a real cup of water but a representation of a child's emotional state. It's influenced by a child's experiences which are both positive and negative. This reflects their feeling of being loved, understood and valued.
When a child's cup is full, they are far more likely to resilient and able to bounce back from setbacks. They are more confident and believe in their abilities. They feel empathetic and are able to understand and share the feelings of others. They tend to be cooperative and willing to work with others which also help them to be self-regulated and able to manage their emotions effectively.
There are many different ways to fill your child's emotional cup. Filling your child's emotional cup will require a consistent effort and a commitment to understanding their needs. They must feel unconditional love and acceptance. Let your child know they are loved and valued no matter what mistakes they make or their achievements and avoid conditional love, such as saying things like "I'll love you if you get good grades".
To fill your child's emotional cup they will need quality time with you. Dedicate uninterrupted time just to focus on them, giving them all of your attention. In this time you can play games, read together or talk.
It is important that during these times you put away your phone and have no distractions. Active listening means really listening to your child when they speak and showing your child that you understand. Another way to fill your child's emotional cup is through physical affection such as hugs, cuddles and high-fives also provide a sense of security and connection. Some children prefer hugs but other children prefer high fives.
A child's emotional cup is fill when they receive positive reinforcement from you. Focus on praising their effort and cheer on their progress, and not just their results. Celebrate all win, including the small successes. Setting healthy boundaries is so important for your child's cup. Having clear and consistent boundaries provides a sense of security and predictability for your child.
It is so important to acknowledge and validate your child's feelings, even when you don't agree with them because teaching emotional literacy will help your child identify and name their emotions. Teach them healthy coping skills for when they are dealing with difficult feelings.
Family traditions and shared activities create a sense of belonging and connection for a child. When we model healthy behaviors, our children learn by watching us model healthy emotional regulation and coping strategies.
There are unfortunately many different ways to empty a child's cup too. Different actions can deplete a child's emotional cup so it is important to be mindful of these potential cup-emptiers. Neglecting a child and ignoring their needs or failing to provide adequate attention can empty their cup. We have to be careful of the things we say because criticism and shaming can erode their self-esteem.
We need to be able to provide consistency because inconsistency with unpredictable rules and expectations will lead to a child's insecurity. Another way to empty a child's cup is to over schedule with too many activities, this can lead to a child feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
To fill a child's emotional cup we should avoid excessive screen time because it can hinder their social emotional development. Something that can empty a child's cup very quickly is when a child is in an environment where their is frequent conflict within the family because this can create an unstable environment for a child.
When we ignore a child's feelings, dismiss or minimize a child's emotions, this can make them feel unheard and invalidated. which can be a real cup emptier. Having unrealistic expectations and putting too much pressure on a child to achieve goals can lead to anxiety and low self-esteem.
Filling your child's emotional cup is an ongoing process that will always require your patience and understanding. It is a full time commitment to nurture their wellbeing. When we prioritize these strategies, we can cultivate a strong foundation for our children's emotional health and future success. Remember that every child is unique and different so adapt these suggestions to meet their own needs and personality.
"Either we spend time meeting children's emotional needs by filling their love cup or we will spend time dealing with behaviors caused by their unmet needs. Either way we spend the time." - Pam Leo
