Sensory Processing Disorder Parent Support

Sensory Processing & Potty Training

Children with sensory differences ... painting the world beautiful.

Sensory Processing & Potty Training

Jeanette Loftus

Let me start this by saying, it gets better, I promise! You may be frustrated and it may not feel like it but it will get better.

It's no secret that potty training can be challenging, however, potty training a child with special needs can pose even more challenges.

Don't get discouraged when you've been unsuccessful, it is very common for families to experience many setbacks while potty training.

Hopefully this article will give you some new approaches to potty training that will help your whole family when taking on the many challenges.

It is very important not to be hard on yourself, like the old quote says "don't sweat the small stuff." I know you're likely thinking, "that's a lot easier said than done." Approach all aspects of the process with a "I'll do what I can, when I can do it" approach. Even if you're at the point in where it feels like the end of the world, I assure you that you can make it fun for you and your child. Like most aspects of parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all solution that works for every child.

If you're having a hard time, you can rest assured that your child is also having a hard time. As impossible as it may seem, especially in the heat of a stressful moment, try to hide your frustration. Maintaining a positive environment while potty training may just be one of the keys to your success. Showing empathy, love and understanding will go a long way in ensuring that they don't create self doubt and get discouraged.

Most of us have a team of professionals working with our children. Tell your child's Nanny, caregivers, therapists and teachers your plan to start potty training. They can also assist with training when you are not there. Assuring that everyone is on the same page is important, in addition, they may even have some useful ideas for you to try.

The next time you try, they'll remember that you allowed them a break the first time so they may refuse again, thus getting harder each time. Most children with special needs are not ready to potty train until they are 3-5 years old. If your child is older than 5 you may want to consult with a developmental pediatrician, they may give you a referral to see an Occupational Therapist.

Potty training can be even more difficult if you start potty training them before they are ready. If they're not ready they will absolutely not cooperate. If you force your child to train before they are ready and then take breaks, they'll remember. The next time you try, they'll remember that you allowed them a break the first time so they may refuse again, thus getting harder each time.

Most children with additional needs are not ready to potty train until they are 3-5 years old. If your child is older than 5 you may want to consult with a developmental pediatrician, they may give you a referral to see an Occupational Therapist.

If you think your child needs more time, it's better to wait. This will give you time to prepare them before starting the process, which will increase your chances of being successful. In addition, you can consult with your child physician or pediatrician before starting.

As tempting as it can be, especially after talking to other parents, try not to compare your child to other children who are potty trained. Some children are potty trained by 18 months while others are 3 years. Children are ready at different times and that's perfectly okay, do it when you and your child are ready. If a child hears their parents comparing them to another child, it can negatively affect their self esteem and discourage them from wanting to try.

As far as their routines, try to keep everything else as normal as possible. Potty training alone will be quite different than their usual routine which can be confusing and cause them to be anxious.

Is your child ready? Here are some things to look for:

- Generally, they start to stay dry during the nights.

- They are able to reach the toilet alone or with your assistance.

- Their diaper starts to stay drier during the daytime hours.

- They show you that they want to learn.

- Your child already knows how to dress or undress themselves.

- They tell you when they need to be changed.

- Your child will start to tell you when they are about to do it, while they're doing it or after.

- You will begin to notice facial expressions they usually make when they are peeing or pooping.

- They begin to have bowel movements around the same time each day.

- You will notice that they start to become more interested in the toilet or using it.

- Your child may begin to want underwear or talk about it.

Generally speaking, it can take anywhere from a few weeks up to a few months to potty train a child, however, when families have children with special needs, it can take longer. I know it can feel like it is never going to happen but don't be discouraged. I promise, your hard work is going to pay off, it'll just take some patience.

Involve your child in the process of preparing for potty training. If they are involved, they will be more willing to want to try it.

Social stories are a great visual to help prepare your child.

Your child may also enjoy picking out their own potty too. After purchasing a potty of their choice try acting out how a stuffed animal or doll would use it. Make it a fun game for them to try. Many children fear being flushed down the toilet, the sound of the water is too loud and automatic toilets are scary. Some children fear being too high up on a toilet so a small low to the ground potty could be your best choice.

If your child pees in their diaper, get them involved by asking them to be a part of cleaning themselves. Wiping themselves, getting a new diaper or putting their dirty diaper in the disposal are all great ways to involve them. While they're participating cheer them on, encourage them and say things such as "soon you'll be able to do it all by yourself in your new potty."

Children love to copy what they see, especially when a parent is doing an activity. Let them see you using the bathroom, you can even talk them through the process, explaining how everything is done. Tell them how much you love using the toilet, how much you enjoy not wearing a diaper and that they too will be using their own potty soon.

Timing is incredibly important, try to choose 7-10 days that you are able to completely devote your time to training your child. Households are very busy so it should be a time that's not too hectic or stressful, ensuring that you have the extra time. It's best if your child is drinking more liquids.

Without mentioning if they need to pee, bring your child to their potty (estimated time 5 minutes) and ask them to sit down. If your child doesn't use the potty you can set an alarm for a half hour and try again. If they did then wait an hour to try it again. An alarm is a great way for your child to know it's time to sit down on the potty and try it again.

Encouragement and praise are so important.

Try not to get upset at them for having accidents, clean them up and quickly move on as it could discourage them from wanting to do it again. Some children are successful by using a reward system. Simple items such as a container of fruit snacks, coins in a piggy bank, a few extra minutes of screen time, a sticker chart or a treasure chest of small toys from the dollar store can go a long way to motivate them.

Smaller rewards should be given even when they don't pee as an acknowledgment of their efforts. Rewards should only be given when they try to, or successfully use the potty. Gradually take the rewards away when you notice they are getting the hang of it.

Make their time on the potty fun by reading books, singing songs, playing with toys or having them watch cartoons. Making this time an enjoyable part of their routine will increase their chances of success.

A very important follow up to using the potty is handwashing. Establishing a good handwashing routine is easier when you make it fun for them. Singing handwashing songs and trying different colored or shaped soaps with different scents may help as well. A popular song choice for handwashing is the Happy Birthday song as it is the correct amount of time required to properly wash your hands. If your child has a social story or visual schedule for potty training, you can add "washing hands" as a good visual reminder for them to see and understand.

Don't push or put too much pressure on your child. Be patient. It may take longer than it takes for other children, but they will do it with routine and consistency.

When your child is successful at potty training and wearing underwear full time, you can even throw them a little party to celebrate. They will be so proud of themselves when they see how pleased you are with them. Potty parties can be different for everyone, do what works for your family. Hang and make decorations, bake cupcakes and play games. Take this time to wave goodbye to their diapers so they understand they are gone and won't ask for them later. Congratulate your child on their accomplishment.

There are a few things you can buy to make this potty-training journey easier for you and your child!

Trying to use the toilet can be scary at first so you are going to want to get a good sturdy stool if you're planning to use your toilet with a potty seat in order to help them feel more secure and safe. A small portable potty can be taken anywhere making it more accessible and cutting down on anxiety about accidents.

Finding some potty-training books for your child can be very encouraging and it will keep them occupied too. You can also use the books during reading times as well.

Comfortable clothing is a must. It could be challenging for your child to unbutton their pants so jogging pants are a great option or you can simply let them run around with a diaper or underwear on.

Most kids love YouTube, but did you know that it's also an excellent resource for potty training videos? Check it out for a vast selection of helpful, encouraging potty training videos.

Plan a shopping date for you and your child so they can choose their very own underwear with their favorite cartoon characters and colors. If you want something a little thicker you may want to purchase some training pants and vinyl pants to prevent leaks.

Kids love toys and there's many toys to encourage potty training. One example would be dolls that drink and pee.

There's many options out there for these products. Here are some suggestions.